Speak Irish Like the Irish

Irish people communicate and the way Americans do is through variations in diction. Almost all amateur impostors overlook this very important distinction between the two schools of speech. To illustrate, think of someone affecting the typical Valley Girl voice: "like, totally, speaking this way dude - I mean, fer sure, right?!" In that one nauseating sentence, you can immediately identify the caricature; not from the accent (no one spoke those words to you) but simply from the words themselves.

People from different regions not only sound different, but actually use a different vocabulary of words. You cannot successfully put on an Irish accent simply by mastering the different tonalities and inflection of the Irish, you must also adopt their lexicon.

If asked how an Irishman is doing, for example, he's likely to reply, "Grand." When was the last time you heard an American say "Grand" unless they were referring to $1,000 or a piano? We'll give you a quick glossary here of choice Irish words for a variety of settings, but this space will be nowhere near big enough to cover all that you'll need to learn. So review this list and then we'll point you to other good sources to expand your store even further.

We've dedicated our limited space to the three topics most prevalent in Irish interlocution: general chats, anger, and food.

The general chat

Em This is the word Irish folk use when pausing to think. It takes the place of the "um" and "uh" that Americans prefer. This two-letter word alone will radically alter your perceived Irishness if you can learn to use it pervasively and unconsciously. This is perhaps the single most commonly used expression in speech, so with this one change alone, you can drastically alter your accent.


Cheers This word is obviously a drinking toast, but more importantly, it is an-all purpose aloha-like tool. You can use it to thank people, to greet them, and to say goodbye. Work it in liberally.


Lad Any male, though usually one of whom you're fond; when pluralized, it can be used to describe a group of males and females.


C'mere Literally, "come here," but it is really just an opening expression that means, "listen" or even just "hey." So if you ever want to get someone's attention, or to begin almost any sentence, bust this out. C'mere, do you follow?


Right This is another all-purpose expression of determination or clarification. "Right, is that a gin & tonic for you and a pint for your friend?" or "Right, you'll be coming home with me then?" If you don't open with "c'mere," this is your other option.


Fag A cigarette. This is an important one, be sure to get it right.


Anger


Bastard Not simply a child born out of wedlock, but also an adjective of angry frustration: "where's my bastard coat?"


Eejit Idiot, but harsher.



Knacker Literally, to convert a horse into glue, but more conventionally, just very tired, exhausted.


Food

Chips French fries. Though in Ireland, they're more like steak fries: lovely and thick, slathered in grease, and unbelievably tasty.


Crisps Potato chips. Usually available in two flavors: cheese n' onion or salt n' vinegar.


Bangers Sausages. Thicker and curvier than hot dogs, and almost always fried or deep-fried, sometimes even in batter if you can imagine.


Mash Mashed potatoes. This usually accompanies bangers.


Fry A collection of pretty much anything that can be fried, usually for breakfast. So if you're proposing a fry, you'll need to contemplate eggs, bacon (rashers), bangers, black pudding (blood sausage), white pudding (more blood sausage), mushrooms, tomatoes, etc. Basically, a heart attack on a plate, but delicious.


Biscuit Something more like a cookie than the southern item. To be taken with tea, usually.


Peckish The feeling of hunger.


Clearly, we cannot arm you with all the charming Irish trappings that you will need to pass yourself off as a Hibernian effectively. But these phrases should tide you over until you have a chance to read plenty of Irish poetry, which will disgorge plenty of idioms to you. In the meantime, here are a few good web sites that span the bridge between American and British. As much as it galls us to say so, learning the Britishisms is fairly close to learning Irish.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Atlantis/2284/
http://pages.prodigy.com/NY/NYC/britspk/main.html
http://www.effingpot.com/
http://www.wmin.ac.uk/~sfgva/ukus.htm
http://www.scit.wlv.ac.uk/wwlib/american.html

As you go forth to apply yourself to this most worthy of pursuits, bear in mind the words of that immortal Irish bard, G.B. Shaw, who reminds us that "Ireland and America are two nations separated by a common language." Okay, so he said England and America, but we'll take some artistic license.