The funs on me!

Leperchauns Secret Gate

Gentle Reader,

I was told recently (by Himself) that I get too "preachey" at times. So here’s a bit of Irish humor to liven up the owd blog!

Paddy was found dead in his back yard, and as the weather was a bit on
the warm side, the wake was held down to only two days, so his mortal
remains wouldn't take a bad turn. At last his friends laid him in the
box, nailed it shut & started down the hill into the churchyard. As it
was a long, sloping path and the mourners were appropriately tipsy, one
fellow lurched into the gatepost as they entered the graveyard. Suddenly
a loud knocking came from in the box. Paddy was alive! They opened the
box up and he sat up, wide eyed, and they all said, Sure, it's a miracle
of God! All rejoiced & they went back and had a few more drinks but
later that day, the poor lad died. Really died. Stone cold dead. They
bundled him back into his box, and as they huffed and puffed down the
hill the next morning, the priest said, "Careful now, boys; mind ye
don't bump the gatepost again"

And one more for the road, but then don’t forget to wash your cup as this dishwasher is broken!

The Leprechaun

One day the hero of ancient days the generous Finn McCool was wondering
how life on earth was now that it was under the general direction and total
management by the Christian church-so he took it upon himself to investigate
and on the third day after thinking it over thumb firmly on wisdom tooth and after a large salmon of knowledge dinner he descended from tir-na-nog (the land without egg nog aka land of youth) to the dusty pathways of Earth.

Upon arrival he met up with his Christian Counter part St. Patrick who was as usual on the road from big house to big house in search of a pint and food and of course selling raffle tickets for that new church.

What brings ye here said saint Patrick to Finn? Well says Finn I came to see how things were under your guidance and to walk with you and find out. Well St. Patrick says you will enjoy do doubt a wonderful pint of stout at the next big house as they say there is none in heaven. No said Finn-he had taken the precaution of drinking several vats before descending-both because he feared that the Christians would have banned it by then and also to provide gasseous
fuel for his assent. And said Finn that bit about no beer in heaven is only for the Catholics-for over charging at their festivals.

So on the road the two went talking about old times and the deeds of the Fianna.
As they got to one particularly dry and dusty plain they met an old lepper
crawling along on the stumps of what once were his legs. The leppar recognized
St. Patrick with his traditional green vestments croizer, miter and a large roll of chances for the next drawing. The lepper said to Patrick -it is said that you have the power to cure and that many have been helped by your power. Tis true said St. Patrick I have done many wonderful things and many a good ticket number I have sold.

Finn said now here is a test Patrick in the old days we would have
been generous and we would have helped the poor what do you have for this poor man?

It is not a hard thing to tell Finn O generous, thoughtful Finn. And he motioned
the lepper to come nearer.
Lepper Said St. Patrick-Shall I cure you? (Finn was astonished-how could Patrick have such powers-impossible-maybe Christianity has greater powers after all....)
The lepper said that indeed a cure would be a great blessing for his poor life.
Patrick looked down at the lepper then up at the still amazed Finn- Lepper as you know I am building churches throughout Ireland. Yes said the lepper the bingos and dances and dinners are without number throughout this land of ours.
Indeed said Patrick-Cringe did Finn- Lepper if you will give me a coin I shall cure you-do you have a coin?

The lepper thought and looked up at Patrick through the rays of a hot sun-yes Patrick I have the two gold coins which I have saved for burial-but if you can cure me they will be yours and he unwrapped them from the cloth and handed them to the Saint. Finn at this point could bear no more -he took Patrick aside and said:"Patrick how can you deceive a poor man like this -this had better be good...'Patrick said to Finn watch and you shall see.

Patrick reached into his green satchel and pulled out two large pint bottles of Stout and uncapped them. lepper If you wish to be saved kneel down -no hard task said the lepper-Now I kneel always -so he moved into the sun beside the saint and bowed his head in prayer and hope. Patrick with all due ceremony raised with two hands the two stout bottles and poured the sweet thick stout all over the
lepper -and he said unto him-lepper with the goodness of stout go forward into life and find your cure.

As the lepper struggled along the road becoming stickier in the hot sun and attracting a host of flies as company Fair Finn was turning a bright red Patrick he said-what is the meaning of this terrible wrong-that man is not cured and will not be and you have taken his money-how the world is cursed by the Christians.

Finn, said Patrick settle down have you forgotten all the old tales-of the Tuatha de, and the Fomor, of the little people-or of the Gentry and the banshees it that long that you have been away your memory gone?

Have you indeed forgotten dear Finn of that centerpiece of Irish Culture-

THE L E P P E R C O N ! ! ! !


May always good music be surrounded by good food story and song.

Love,

Denis